Skeleton Dance
by Kessie-Louise
Summary: In homage and parody of the original Inspector Gadget formula; Zane receives a mysterious request from the Skulkin who happen to be at the Temple of Light for some reason. Unknown to him, Mina tags along and the two find something they were certainly not expecting...
1. The Same Conversations

Eleven year old Mina looked on carefully at Zane as he performed a well needed update on the robotic falcon.

"Are you sure he's going to be alright?" she asked, wincing when something in the bird sparked a little when Zane touched it with a screwdriver.

"I understand you are extremely anxious, but we have this discussion every time." Zane told her with a smile. "Our falcon friend will function once more- being your pet is certainly less harmful for him than any of his previous missions. You'd be surprised what our falcon friend has gone through before becoming your friend."

"But is he going to be safe?" Mina asked again, not really listening to Zane to begin with.

The Nindroid did not answer her, but smiled a little as he finished the falcon's upgrade.

"There." Zane said as he put the main control panel back on the robotic bird. A second later, the robotic bird reactivated, and the eleven year old's face lit up with joy.

"Refresh my memory Mina, how did Falcon end up in such a damaged state?"

At this idea, the girl instantly grew a fabulous shade of red.

"Promise not to tell Kai?" she said quietly.

"I have kept many of your promises, I do plan on breaking any of them." Zane told her with a smile.

Mina gave a secure smile then took a deep breath out.

"Okay," she finally said, "I was-"

She was cut off by a nearby land line phone. Both Zane and Mina looked at it as if it had changed its shape. Zane walked to the phone and answered it.

"Hello?" he asked into the receiver. Mina watched Zane as he listened to the caller on the other end. "Where are you Pixal? Alright, I'll meet you there."

"Who was that?" Mina asked, feeling as if she had the right to know.

"It was Pixal," Zane told her, "She wants me to meet her at the docks. She sounded a bit upset so I am a bit curious to see what she wants me for."

"Can I come?"

Zane looked at Mina as she gave her best puppy dog pout. The robotic bird even perched itself on her shoulder as if it were part of the act. Kai wouldn't have bought it, but Zane didn't know better.

"Of course, but stay close. I am not sure what Pixal would want to do by the docks."

The eleven year old did all but squeal with excitement.


	2. What Do You Mean There's No Explosives?

They arrived at the docks several minutes later. Pixal looked nearly relieved to see Zane, but looked a bit confused to see Mina.

"Do not take this the wrong way, but I did not request Minerva's presence." Pixal admitted when the two were closer to her.

"I am watching her for the time being," Zane said patiently, "Kai had a very important matter to take care of that he could not bring Mina along with him."

Pixal looked at Mina in decision, then she looked at Zane.

"The Skeleton Army has requested your presence at the Temple of Light on the Dark Island." Pixal told him.

"The Skulkin?" Zane asked with well placed confusion. "Certainly the information you were given was faulty?"

Mina looked up at him with a look of confusion.

"It is not," Pixal insisted. "I received the message by satellite this morning. There is no mistake on the coordinates or the ones who sent it. Would you like to see the transcript?"

"Yes please." Zane agreed. Without a moment's haste, Pixal withdrew a piece of paper filled with markings that Mina couldn't make out. The eleven year old leaned on Zane shoulder so she could get a closer look.

"It is very hard to see when you do that Mina." Zane told the girl. He wanted to shake her off, but knew it would have been a rude thing to do. Even though her laying on him wasn't the most comfortable thing either...

"I'm trying to figure out if it's going to self destruct." she admitted, craning her neck a little to get a better view.

"Why would I attach explosives to a piece of paper?" Pixal asked in a confused tone.

"I dunno." Mina admitted as she got off of Zane. "Why wouldn't you?"

"It would be dangerous!" Pixal told the girl with surprise. "Even if it had no effect on Zane and I due to our natures, you as a human could be seriously injured!"

"I believe she is joking Pixal." Zane interjected. "Mina is a fan of cartoons and has a very high expectations for things that would normally hurt someone. She does not meant it."

Mina shrugged and rolled her eyes a little with a smirk. Pixal looked at the girl in confusion then looked at Zane.

"I will leave for the Dark Island as soon as possible." Zane told Pixal. "I will see what the Skulkin desire then return when I am able."

"Can I come?" Mina instantly asked.

"Of course not." Zane told her calmly. "The Skulkin are dangerous, the Dark Island is even more so. What would Kai say if he found out that I let you traverse the Dark Island with one of our once powerful foes?"

"If they are so powerful, how come you never told me about them before?" Mina asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I do not need to answer that; your education should have covered the subject fair enough already." Zane told her without hesitation.

Mina's face squirmed as if she wanted to say something or make a very undesirable face, but she kept her council. The falcon landed on her head- coming from the sky unannounced and unexpected. Mina moved her eyes to look up at the robotic bird, then the corner of her lips formed a smile.

"You are heading home now, are you not?" Zane then told her, knowing that she was formulating something in her mind.

"Yeah..." Mina agreed, her voice sounding a bit far away, "I guess I will."

"I will see you safe at home when I return." Zane then said.

"Yes sir." Mina said softly as she started to walk away.

For a moment, Zane actually believed that she was heading home. Unfortunately for him, he knew her much better than that.


	3. Busted

Within the thirty years it had been since Zane and the other ninja once prowled the Dark Island when the Overlord was rising in power, the Dark Island had become a major tourist attraction. Of course, certain areas were still blocked off to the general public. The Temple of Light was (almost naturally) one of those areas.

Getting in proved to be difficult as Zane soon found out.

"Sorry sir, I can't let you pass." the guard said. The guard was put on duty in front of the gate that cut off the Temple of Light from the mass public.

"You must let me through," Zane softly insisted, "I am Zane, the Ninja of Ice, and I must get to the Temple of Light as soon as possible."

The guard scoffed.

"If you're the Ninja of Ice, then I'm a Stone Warrior!" he chuckled. "Honestly though, I can't let you through here by order of the Ninjago Tourist Attraction Association- Act number Two, Section Ten."

"You must let me in," Zane insisted. "The Skulkin are in the Temple of Light and they are requesting my presence as we speak!"

This made the guard laugh loudly.

"I don't care if the Overlord is making another doomsday device; you are NOT getting through here buster!"

Zane looked at the guard as he tried to fight the urge to be as stubborn as Kai.

"Thank you." Zane then said curtly as he turned around.

Hiding nearby in a bush, Mina had observed the scene as quietly as she could.

"Well... we aren't taking that way." she hissed to herself. "What do you think Crow? Crow...?"

Mina quickly looked down at the ground where the robotic falcon has rested as she sat under the bush. With a horrible pit of realization, she noticed the bird was no longer there. Frantically, Mina looked around for her robotic friend and saw that he was flying awfully close to Zane.

"No no no... please Crow, no..."

She could have sworn that the evil contraption looked right at her before neatly perching itself on Zane's shoulder.

"Well, hello there." Zane said in a surprised tone as he gave the robotic bird a loving stroke on the neck. "What are you doing so far away from Mina?"

That was when something clicked in Zane mind that made too much sense that he couldn't believe that he had just asked such a question.

"Come out Minerva Florence, I know you are here." Zane said as he looked around, using a tone of voice that illustrated his authority and anger.

Mina crawled out from her hiding place and stood in front of Zane with a look of guilt. The falcon then chose to fly from Zane's shoulder to the top of Mina's shoulder. It even nuzzled her a little as if it knew it had gotten her in trouble.

"Get off of me," Mina said as she shook the bird off, "I don't want you, you stupid double crosser."

The robotic bird obeyed and flew off to a nearby tree branch. That was when Zane and Mina looked each other in the eye.

"What are you doing out here?" Zane finally asked. "If Kai would find out-"

"Kai isn't going to find out." Mina said doubtfully.

Zane suddenly went silent. The longer he remained silent, the more Mina felt anxious about what he was going to say next.

"Do you remember when Cole invited Jay, Nya, Kai, and I to go rock climbing?" Zane then asked.

Mina's face lit up.

"Of course I do! Kai was sick that day so you guys were able to convince him to let me go."

"Good. But do you remember when you did not listen to Cole and your foot slipped from the foothold?"

Mina flinched, but did not say anything. Zane took this as a sign to continue;

"If Nya had not thought fast enough, you would have fallen from a great height and could have died before we were able to get you to a hospital."

"I don't remember that." Mina said quietly.

"Adrenaline based amnesia is not going to stop me from getting to the point at hand." Zane told her. "With that said, do you remember Kai's reaction when he found out about the accident?"

Mina flinched at the memory.

Long story short; everyone was mad at each other and refused to talk about it.

"But I know better now!" Mina then said.

"It was two weeks ago Minerva." Zane said flatly. "If Kai knows that you came to the Dark Island, he could possibly chaotically set off the Fire Temple's volcano remotely. Go home please, before you get hurt."

Mina looked at Zane, straightened herself up a little, then turned around without a word. Satisfied that she was doing what she was told for once, Zane turned around as well to find a new way to the Temple of Light. This proved to be the wrong idea, though, because Mina was captured shortly thereafter by some Skulkin that were hiding in a nearby tree.


	4. Hane no Dansu

"You _idiot_, this isn't the Ninja of Ice!"

"Well _excuse me_ for not knowing which direction they were going to take."

"What does that have to do with anything? How can you not tell the difference between a girl and a robot?!"

"If you must know (and in my defense) he is a ridiculously human robot and if I didn't know that I would not have known that."

"But you _do_ know that you moron!"

Mina looked at the two Skulkin as they bickered back and forth between each other. One Skulkin was adorned in black while the other was adorned with blue. At first she thought that their banter was rather funny, but now it was just getting annoying.

"You do realize I'm standing right here." Mina said, to remind them of her presence. The two Skulkin looked at her as if they were just aware of her being there.

"Look, kid," the Skulkin in black said to her, "We didn't mean to get you mixed up in this. We'll set you free after I tell _someone _that he has made the greatest mistake in his afterlife!"

"So you're not going to put me in a death trap?" Mina asked. The Skulkin looked at her like she was insane.

"Why would we do that?" the Skulkin in black asked her. "We're retired kid, we don't want anything to do with you crazy humans again unless we absolutely need to."

"Then what do you want with Zane?"

"We heard frozen gears has a funny switch!" The Skulkin in blue spoke up.

"Zane... with a 'funny switch'...?" Mina asked with a look of confusion. "Zane isn't funny at all..."

"You IDIOT!" the Skulkin in black said in rage to the Skulkin in blue, about to lunge after him to rip him limb from limb. "Now our party won't have any entertainment!"

"A party? Is that what you guys are doing in the Temple of Light?" Mina asked.

The Skulkin in black gave his comrade a back slap to the head then turned to Mina.

"Yeah, it's the best place in Ninjago really. You get an awesome musical guest under that bell thing with some wicked bass- you have one kicking audio for a fraction of the cost!"

"Really?" Mina asked, finding herself to be more than a little surprised.

"Hey!" the Skulkin in blue suddenly said. "Can you sing kid? Since you're here and all..."

Mina looked at them and blinked.

"I can... lip sync." she slowly said.

"Perfect!" both of the Skulkin said at the same time.

. . .

Zane had snuck past that guard as he was changing shifts and was now scaling the mountain side with nearly the same dexterity he had thirty years ago. It was nice to know that he could still do it, but it was ultimately unpractical in this new life he and the other ninja have constructed for themselves.

As Zane got closer to the Temple of Light, he could hear the pulsating beat of an upbeat song that could only make you want to dance. When he got to the entrance, he could not believe what he was seeing. In the main foyer were all the Skulkin who all danced in their own ways to the music. Mina was in the center of it all pretending to belt out the lyrics of the upbeat song that could only make you dance.

Cautiously, Zane worked his way through the mass of Skulkin as the beat started to kick up again. Mina was giving it all she had and was obviously having fun as she pretended to sing the words;

_So I put my faith in something unknown,  
>I'm living on such sweet nothing!<br>But I'm tired of hope with nothing to hold,  
>I'm living on such sweet nothing!<br>And it's hard to learn,  
>And it's hard to love,<br>When you're giving me such sweet nothing!  
>Sweet nothing, <em>

_Sweet nothing,  
>You're giving me such sweet nothing!<em>

As the bass gave prominence in the song, Zane was as close to Mina as he could with the rest of the crowd and looked up at the eleven year old having the time of her life. If anything, Mina looked like she was dancing and singing along with the radio in her room rather than a professional singer at a concert.

When the song ended, the Skulkin were almost immediately asking for an encore. Mina, however, looked ready to pass out. Carefully, Zane got up on the stage and gave a formal bow toward Mina.

"Perhaps a duet is in order?" he suggested. The Skulkin hooted and hollered at this idea with great enthusiasm. Mina looked as if Zane had saved her life.

"Kai will never find out... will he?" Mina asked.

"In a 95.12 percent likelihood; no, I do not think Kai will find out."

Mina smiled wide as a new song started. This was going to be an awesome night.

* * *

><p><strong>Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris, featuring Florence Welch copyrighted Fly Eye Studios 2012<strong>


	5. The Chapter No One Reads

"There was a 95.12 percent chance I wouldn't find out, was there? Gee Zane, was that other 4.88 percent that you thought didn't count include the possibility that I _USED THE FALCON TO SEE WHERE THE FUCK YOU TWO WENT_?!"

Well, they were busted... big time. Mina sat on the living room chair looking like a rag doll to forge a sense of innocence. She knew it was going to work- she understood how deep in trouble she was in.

At this point, she was lucky Kai was letting her see daylight.

"I do admit that it was a rather high oversight on my part," Zane admitted, "But it is nothing to take out of Mina."

"And give me one good reason why some part of my anger shouldn't be taken out on Mina?!" Kai thundered. "She knew the danger, and she knew the consequences- now she will be punished like every other kid in the universe because she disobeyed her superiors!"

"She was never in danger Kai," Zane then said, "She was safe with me."

Kai blinked then got out a portable DVD player. He hit play and almost instantly Zane's words from chapter two filled the room.

"_The Skulkin are dangerous, the Dark Island is even more so. What would Kai say if he found out that I let you traverse the Dark Island with one of our once powerful foes?"_

Kai then glared at Zane.

"Do you two think I'm _that_ stupid _just _for the sake of the plot?"

"I'm sure there's a trope about this somewhere." Mina pondered to herself.

"You need to keep your mouth shut missy!" Kai snapped. "You and I are going to have a separate discussion later."

Mina shrunk lower in her seat and kept her mouth shut.

"I don't care if she isn't my kid or not," Kai then went on to say to Zane, "I don't particularly care that her father essentially left her at my doorstep before he fell off the face of the earth. What I do care about is the fact that you thought that she would just waltz home when you told her and how you didn't even think to consider that she was going to come along any way."

"You're right Kai," Zane said with no emotion, "I didn't factor in the possibility that she is exactly like you."

With that, Zane turned around and walked away. Kai went into a state a absolute fury and fear that Mina swore he could have passed out right then and there. When he turned to look at her, she felt herself shrink lower in the chair from the look he was giving her.

"Mina," Kai started to say, "Since the writer seriously feels the need to end this story but isn't quite sure how without it being dissatisfying; tell me- what did you learn from all of this?"

"Uh..." Mina said for a moment as she collected her thoughts. "I learned that Crow is a good spy...?"

"And?"

"The Skulkin are retired but still have cameos?"

"And?"

"I need to listen more to my authorities because I'm too stubborn for my own good and somehow that's bad at my age...?"

"What else?"

"In canon you could possibly master the art of tranquil fury but the author did not consider making it part of the story until now?"

Kai closed his eyes and defused a little.

"And your punishment for all of this?" he asked as he rubbed his temples.

"Three weeks of house arrest and Crow stays with Zane?" the girl guessed.

Kai opened his eyes to look at her.

"Go," he told her. "Before I make it three months."

Without further instruction, Mina quickly skirted out of the chair and up to her room. Kai then sat down in the chair and rubbed his temples again. That girl was a hassle, most of it due to his own brand of stubbornness that he was sure to have modeled to her more than once before. That's not even when you get into the factor of her genetic identity- most of which was hidden from her for some kind of safety reason or another.

Only one thought about Mina lingered in his mind as he got up;

What... a... brat.


End file.
